There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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