Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Floor bacon is actually really good
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
