There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
