the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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