My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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