I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
