I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
