Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
