i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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