If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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