i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
