you're like a bully in the Christmas story
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
