I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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