I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
