I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
They took my balls.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
