He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
