So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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