I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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