ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We are two peas in an std pod
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
