Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
