If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
