I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
