It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Alive.
So much puke
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Randomize
