When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
