I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
