just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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