Your dad touched me again.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
