That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
