I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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