So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
third nipple confirmed
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
