I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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