And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
