The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
