I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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