we're blogging at a bar
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
