i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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