I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
