ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
