they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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