Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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