16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
