yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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