Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
