I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
