I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
