I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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