She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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