My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
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