...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
