Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize