My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
