come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Randomize
