twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
