its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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