I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
