I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
its not stalking. its research.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
